im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
