Porn is love you can see.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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