Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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