"it" just moved
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
