i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
