I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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