the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
