If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
