tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
