I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
