So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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