I wanna passion pit in your ass
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
