apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
