how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
