come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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