That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Church boner. Awkwardddd
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
