Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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