I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
