she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Damn victory sex feels great
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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