tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she looked like the before picture.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
