Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize