he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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