we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
do herpes really smell.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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