Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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