when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
