Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Your penis caused this!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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