guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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