i just google imaged poop.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
