i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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