It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
