I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
