it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
