I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
