I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
