people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
