I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize