If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
