Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
