just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize