Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
