What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
