chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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