I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
