Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
