just come out here and I will go home with you...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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