whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
