I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
