Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
