Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
