there's paper in my vomit.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
