maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
