i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
