Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
