Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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