What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
