You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
