where am i from again
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
