well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You can't special order awesome
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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