Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
