great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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