I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize