so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
